Don't Short Circuit the Process

A friend of mine posted this the other day on a web site:

What hurts the most is when your brother tells you the day after elections that he wished the Republicans remained in power because the Democrats are trying to give gay people the right to marry.

What hurts the most is to sit there and try to explain the concept of equal protection to a child that doesn't understand such things with the ardent hope that his eyes will show a glimer of recognition that the active denial of the right to marry to all individuals, regardless of who they choose to marry, is discrimiation.

What hurts the most is to live in a Roman Catholic household, denying who you are as an individual, solely for the purpose to help in raising a younger brother to have an open mind and open heart to all.

What hurts the most is having your younger brother unknowingly throw a dagger in your heart right after Virginia passes Proposed Marriage Amendment 1.

My response:

I'm sorry this is such a hard thing for you Joe (named changed), and that such issues give you such pain. I understand you and I have our differences of opinion on this and usually I leave them to our friendly banter back and forth. But you brought this to my attention, and as such, you invite me to comment.

Giving homosexuals the "right" to marry is not a question of Equal Protection. Homosexuals have all the same rights under law as other Americans. It is a question of whether we are going to embrace a lifestyle and a family structure that is foreign to the current foundation of our civilization: the two-parent family.

I disagree with Bob (with all due respect). Those who argue against miscegenation were against a skin color, an irrational fear that somehow the melanin content of one's body (among other biological irrelevances) automatically shaped how they thought and acted. They were wrong. Refusal to accept homosexual unions, meanwhile, is a rational rejection of a lifestyle and behavior, completely divorced from appearances. This is true regardless of whether that rejection is ultimately morally right or wrong. It is rational opposition to behavior, not skin color. To conflate the two arguments is to buy into every racist argument our society has debunked over the past 50 years (e.g. that somehow physical characteristics determines behavior).

Homosexuals are not a protected class, they are a private interest group, and if they want their unions given favored tax/contract status by society and the government (like marriage), they need to convince their fellow Americans that it has value and to pass laws accordingly. Apparently, the majority of voting Virginians feel otherwise, and have passed laws accordingly. This is the same process we all have to follow in furthering our private interests. Framing it as an Equal Protection argument and going through the courts is an end run around the political process and undermines our system of government.

Joe, you know I love you. I respect your opinion, though I fundamentally disagree with it. I hope you and your brother will come to love and understand each other like you and I have.